i'm getting there...

It's not perfect and "perfection" should never be my goal, but I finally did some drawings tonight that I am somewhat proud of and actually compelled to show people. I never willingly show my work but I figure, hey, its only you guys seeing it so... :)

I've been sick since friday when I had about an hour and a half of sleep the night before because I was finishing up a project that my teacher said was "nice" and "pretty" but that sucks. I don't want nice and pretty. Nice and pretty is forgettable. Everyone can do nice and pretty. Anyways, I just got super super down and depressed emotionally and was physically sick so this weekend has just sucked. I was supposed to get this assignment done on friday night but i did absolutely no homework until now and thank GOD for giving me the energy and enthusiasm to get this bit done. Now I just need fuel to burn through the last 3 weeks. PLEASE LORD HELP ME!!

*and don't pay any attention to the male figures...eh... aw man...i feel self conscious already...

why

oh crap what is that thing about how we shouldn't say why? as in why God why, why did this happen to me kind of a way? I can't remember.

Well this isn't one of those why did this happen to me but "why am I this way" and "why did I do that?" "HOW did I do that?!"

I can't understand how I am so clumsy. So ridiculously thoughtlessly clumsy. I spill and break and ruin so many things. Its like I don't know what my body is doing! I made a great dinner tonight of salad with balsamic vinegar, a little olive oil, and pepper with a pasta made from spinach linguini, Tomato Basil sauce, mushrooms, onions, and spinach, all topped off with some italian bread from the farmers market....and a biscotti before and after dinner :) yummm

anyways, I made extra pasta for my dinner to take to school tomorrow and i let it cool in the kitchen. I went back to put it in the fridge and I was holding it with my left hand and picked up a noodle with my right to see if the noodle was soggy. I was just thinking "hmmm its just right" and then I don't even know what I did or if I even moved but the next thing I know is that the tupperware was out of my hands and halfway on the counter and halfway out so that pasta was splattered on the counter as well as dripping over the sides and onto the ground, splattering the dishwasher on the way as well. APOEIHFDLKGJOP S;EILJFACO:LZJDFNPA;SCJKXFK AJHSDFNOIXULZK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!

I don't even know what I did to make that happen. It just did. I don't know i don't know i don't knowwwwwwwwwwwwwww :*(

I hate being so clumsy. I though I grew out of it because there was a point in my life where I remember thinking hey I haven't spilt something or dropped somethign in a while but no. Its bcack. I've spilled so many things in the apartment and broken so many things and have even lost things in the gosh darn east river. WHO DOES THAT!? apparently me. If someone reading this can relate not only to being clumsy because yes i understand that a lot of people have clumsy moments but can also relate to dropping things in a river, please. can we make a support group? please.